Getting the Most out of WhatsApp Groups With Less Screen Time
Enjoy these old iPhone glamour shots of me from my Apple days.
As broadcast-based social media becomes less popular, I find myself spending more time in community-driven WhatsApp & Signal Groups. WhatsApp has become the default organizing platform for local communities and affinity groups (people who like the same stuff).
This has led me to spending up to an hour a day catching up on busy WhatsApp groups. I developed these tips to help us all get the most out of these group chats without being stuck on screens.
How to Engage with Kindness, Strength & Sanity
You’re going to hear from people you don’t agree with on any WhatsApp group. Here’s some of the nuances for how to give & receive with a group of chat strangers.
Use emojis ✅ Tone is difficult to convey in quick messages. Use clear emojis to help readers understand if you’re laughing 🤣, upset 😭, or confused 🤔.
Assume best intentions. Most folks are not trying to be difficult or mean on purpose. Most folks haven’t gotten actionable feedback on how they’re being received.
Call out behaviors, not individuals. When possible, address the behavior that isn’t working. Allow openings for apology, repair, and understanding.
Speak up for anyone being bullied or harassed. The reason I never became a Reddit nerd is because I got harassed on my first post and decided it wasn’t the place for me. We can’t create safe spaces but we can create brave spaces where people are supported in speaking up. Check in with anyone you feel is being bullied and ask if they’d like your support privately or publicly.
Remember the silent members. Most of the group is in listening mode so be respectful of their needs even if they’re not saying much.
You get what you give. If you only show up to promote yourself or complain, don’t expect a warm reception. If you show up consistently and support the group, they’ll support you too.
Take breaks. Skip a day or a week of messages and re-engage when you feel ready. Trying to stay up-to-date on every message will drive you crazy. Sip from the fire hose instead of getting drenched.
MUTE Noisy Groups
To avoid getting constant message notifications, you’re going to want to MUTE any large groups you’ve joined. You can mute a group for just 8 hours or a week but I keep mine muted forever. I then check my WhatsApp every few days to catch up on all the missed group messages.
How To: While in the chat that you want to mute, tap the group name at the top of your screen. Scroll down to Notifications > Muted > Always.
Use Reply Privately
Using the group chat to make plans between you and one other person is like screaming into your cell phone while waiting in a busy line. We don’t all need to hear it. You can follow up with someone without including the whole group with “Reply Privately”.
How To: Hold down the message in the group that you want to reply to. A response menu will popup. Tap More… > Reply Privately
This will start a private chat with the person who posted, while still including the context of that post.
Respect Other People’s Time
Everyone’s time and attention is valuable. The more time people need to spend on the group chat, the less time they have for their lives.
Your post is more likely to be read if it’s easy to read. About half of American adults read at below a 6th Grade level. Your group likely has folks who speak english as a second or third language.
There’s a few ways to respect other people’s time…
If you are replying to someone else’s post…use reply or reply privately to keep the conversation related.
Reply with emojis if you don’t have anything meaningful to add. Tap on any emoji to see who left it.
Draft longer posts in notes first so you don’t accidentally post half your thought.
If your post is long…use returns and maybe even bullet points to help people read it easily.
Don’t post long voice memos or long videos (unless that’s normal for your group).
Use simple language and simple words.
Use emojis 👏🏻.
Be brief.
Make It Personal
It’s hard to get to know people through a random chat so make each post personal to you. If you share from personal experience, the group gets the benefit of learning something about you and something about the topic. (You also avoid preaching, coaching, or shaming others with shoulds.)
I’m a big fan of asking people to introduce themselves with a picture; a selfie or another picture that they resonate with. You can run challenges like post your pet, your room, your favorite sticker, your version of spring, whatever. I love when people post sketches or art in progress. If you can make the group chat more human, please do!
Super Tip: Show up in real life. Use these groups to spark connections and then deepen them by showing up for each other. Even if you’re spread out around the world, create an annual excuse to get together.
Don’t Save Media
Depending on your WhatsApp settings, you may be automatically saving all pictures & media sent to you on WhatsApp. If the group you’re in sends a lot of pictures or video, that’s going to fill up your phone.
To check go to the Settings in WhatsApp > tap Chats > check the “Save to Photos” setting. You can turn it off for all groups here. If you want to keep it on but turn if off for just your big groups…you can select individual groups by tapping the group name at the top of your screen and checking the “Save to Photos” setting for that group.
Even if you’ve turned automatic saving of photos off, you can save any photo that’s sent to you by tapping on the photo and then tapping the send button in the lower left to select save.
