16 First Date Skills That Will Make You A Better Business Networker

You've heard that WHO you know is more important than WHAT you know, but your education focused on facts instead of making connections. Whether you use these skills to connect to your next investor or to meet the love of your life, many of the same principles that make you a great first date will make you a better business networker too.

BEFORE YOU MEET

1. Prepare your soundbites. Almost every meeting will include questions like "what do you do?" and "where are you from?" Instead of the standard answers, prepare short stories that make you sound interesting, fun, and unique. Don't tell your latest acquaintance that you're building the next social network and looking for a technical co-founder. That's predictable and so common it's forgettable. Tell him how you combined your love of website design with yoga to create a video blog that teaches parents how to introduce yoga to their kids and it's gotten far more popular than you could have imagined. If this isn't natural to you, check out books on how to talk about yourself with just the right amount of self promotion such as BRAG! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It by Peggy Klaus.
2. Investigate to find common ground. It's easier to bond with someone when you have something in common. If you've lived in the same states, vacationed to the same places, or went to the same school, you'll want to bring that up early to build rapport. With all the free information available on the internet, there's no excuse to not know that they love shiba inu puppies too. I use tools like 123People to find where my potential connections lurk online. You'll make an amazing first impression if you can start the conversation with "Hey I really loved your blog post on Facebook's inflated evaluation last week, how did you..."
3. Dress up, instead of down. People form judgements about you in the first 15 seconds of meeting you and clothes are part of that equation. I would lean towards looking a little too good instead of the opposite. If you can wear something distinctive, without looking silly, it might help you be more memorable. Gary Sharma, of GarysGuide, wears a red tie to all events, which he even mentions on his business cards and email signature so he's easier to find and remember.

STARTING THE CONVERSATION

1. Practice walking up to people you don't know. You should be able to walk up to anyone at a networking event and introduce yourself. Look for people alone or in pairs at the endges of an event for an easy start and work your way up. People come to networking events to talk to new people but get stuck just saying hello to people they already know. Break out of the rut and you might just meet your next co-founder. If this is a tough skill for you, practice by introducing yourself in low-pressure situations like the person sitting next to you on the train tonight.
2. Add value to join any conversation. The person you want to meet is at the center of a conversation and it seems impossible to break into the group. You can use the same method savvy guys employ to break into a group of girlfriends at the bar. Don't just shove your way into the group and interrupt, stay close and listen for an opportunity to add value to the conversation. When your target brings up how much they loved the gelato at dinner, offer that there's a new gelateria in town that they should try.

DURING THE CONVERSATION

1. Smile a lot. Look like you're having a good time anytime someone can see your face. This is especially useful at events where you'd like to make an impression on the speaker. Sit in the front row and look really attentive by smiling, nodding, and taking notes on key points. Most people sit in an audience with a blank stare or spend the whole time checking their laptop. If you're the friendly and receptive face in the crowd, you'll be a welcome contact to meet after the event too.
2. Focus on how you can help them. Many people approach networking opportunities selfishly trying to find people to help them. Flip your priorities around and focus on how you can help people you meet. Helping someone make a connection or find a resource will give you an excellent reason to trade contact information. Every time I've focused on helping the other person, they've returned the favor when I've needed something.
3. Don't cross your arms in front of your body. I recommend everyone take a basic body language course to learn the visual cues that show you're receptive to the conversation. The very first lesson is to stop crossing your arms across your chest. Although it's a comfortable way to hold your hands, it makes you seem closed off. I take courses at the Nonverbal Group in New York City.
4. Buy the next round. It may seem simple but offering to buy the next round is a skill men mastered ages ago to keep the conversation going. I learned how few women employ this technique when booking event spaces with bar minimums for Women 2.0's Founder Friday events. Events with primarily women sell the least drinks because women aren't culturally tuned to buy rounds. Events with men trying to impress women sell the most drinks for...obvious reasons.
5. Banish distractions. You never know where your next important connection will come from so even if you don't think the person you're talking to is "important", don't check your phone. Don't look around the room. Don't sit there and think about your day or what you need to do next. Be fully present for your conversation partner. It's the best present you can give them.
6. Be positive. Nothing says "steer clear" like somebody who spends half the conversation complaining about their company/ex/apartment/family or whatnot. Keep the first meeting topics upbeat.
7. Don't let the conversation stall. Everyone needs a bank of general questions you can ask a new acquaintance to get them talking and find common ground. You already know the standards like "do you have any siblings" but now is the time to invent questions that make you more insightful. I like, if you had enough money that you didn't have to work, what would you do?
8. Listen more than you talk. We are a culture starving to be listened to. We broadcast our most minor thoughts throughout the Internet, desperate to be read. Listening is much more powerful than talking. Also making people feel like their minor thoughts on the Internet are being listened to can help too so like, retweet, and up vote away.
9. Compliment them. Try to offer at least one honest compliment to your conversation partner. This technique is over used so if you can't say something genuine, skip it.

AFTER THE CONVERSATION

1. Follow up! Follow up! No really, follow up! We all think important people are too busy to respond, so most people never reach out in the first place. I've given out business cards to 50+ people at an event in which every single one promised they'd follow up with me and gotten 2 emails afterwards. If you get someone's contact information, send them a follow-up within 24 hours every SINGLE time. I use CardMunch to import business cards into my address book automatically and send LinkedIn invites. If you see a speaker that you'd like to connect with, the least you can do is tweet a useful tip from their speech with their username, tweet them a compliment, and follow them on Twitter.
2. Personalize every follow up. I use the Gmail plug-in Rapportive to display everyone's social media updates along side every email I write to them. This allows me to personalize each email with something like "hey I saw you were in Chicago last weekend, did you find any good restaurants while you were there?" instead of the general "hope all is well with you" opening.

 

 Jelly Belly photo by Mike Crain. 

8 Reasons I'm Never Going To Hire You

Resume

I was so disappointed with the last round of job candidates that I just had to tell you why. Please share with your friends that are out there applying for jobs. It's competitive out there and fixing a few simple things will easily put them on top. 

1. You Never Applied

Applying for jobs is no fun but seriously if you don't apply I'm never going to hire you. Applying doesn't mean telling a friend of my friend that you *might* be interested in talking about the position. It means actually filling out the online application completely and then following up on any mutual connections. Skipping the 10 minutes to fill out your information online forces me and my HR staff work much harder to hire you. Make it easy on us!

2. You Sucked At Filling Out the Application

I realize filling out online applications isn't fun but you gotta do it right! Don't skip over questions. Don't screw up the grammar, spelling, or capitalization. For gosh sakes, spell and capitalize my company's name right!

3. Your Resume Is Longer Than 2 Pages

I'm going to spend 8-30 seconds reading your resume before I decide if I want to speak to you. Your best qualities for this position better be darn clear within the first 5 seconds or you're not getting a call back.

Remove bullet points like:

• Scheduled meetings

• Developed and maintained relationships

• Coordinated between X and Y departments

4. You Didn't Do Your Research Before The Interview

The first question I'm going to ask you is what do you already know about my company. You better have a good answer that shows you did more than read my "about us" page. Bonus points if you relate my company's strengths to yours or actually spoke to current employees or customers.

5. You Misspelled or Incorrectly Capitalized The Stuff You're Supposed To Be Expert At

You know who knows the different between MAC and Mac or Word press and WordPress? I do, because I'm actually an expert in those skills you claim to have.

6. You Negotiated On Salary Before We Offered You The Job

In a sales pitch they'll tell you everything about the product and how great it's going to make your life BEFORE they tell you how much it's going to cost you. Treat job interviews the same way. Never state the salary you expect up front. Make sure I fall in love with the idea of hiring you and how amazing you're going to make my business and then ask for a little more than I wanted to pay you. Of course if what they're offering is drastically different than what you want to make, you're wasting everyones time. However, if you're within 10-25% of what they're expecting to pay, you can probably get it if you're truly the best candidate.

7. Your Email Address is HotPants69@hotmail.com

If you're not an internet marketer, I'll forgive you for using gmail but please get firstname.lastname@gmail.com (or something very close to that). If you do claim to be a pro online anything, you better have your own domain.

8. Your Online Presence Isn't Present

You claim blogging as a skill but you haven't updated your blog since 2007. Your LinkedIn profile is half-completed and your picture is fuzzy. You tweeted twice two years ago and your icon is still the default egg. Honestly most employers aren't going to go years back into your social media accounts. If you clean up and update the last few months of posts, it'll probably be fine. If you're applying for a social media related position you should have at least two years of blog posts.