Is self publishing my book worth it?
I just finished my first year of being an author. I wrote The Inside Guide during the first quarantine and published it on April 20, 2020.
Here’s what happened, what I learned about self publishing, and why I’m quitting.
The Numbers Please
Here’s the rough numbers on what it took for me to self published a 100-page non-fiction book in full color. In my opinion, this is the least amount of time you can expect to spend on the process unless you have professional writing/publishing experience.
Writing the Book: 100 hours
Getting & Integrating Feedback: 25 hours
Editing the Book: 25 hours
Laying Out Book Interior: 40 hours
Book Cover Design: 20 hours
Self Publishing Setup: 20 hours
Setting Up My Own eCommerce Sales: 20 hours
Marketing to My Mailing List: 20 hours
Marketing to Social Media: 50 hours
Virtual Book Launch on Clubhouse: 20 hours
Reprints: 10 hours
Shipping Books & Customer Service: 5 hours
TOTAL was about 355 Hours Over 1 Year
I give you these rough estimates so you can see how much time you might invest. I had previous experience doing all these tasks for the Tekserve Mac FAQ and it still took me hundreds of hours. If you don’t have experience writing, editing, laying out books, or selling stuff online, you can expect to spend double the amount of time I did.
So let’s say you can do ALL these steps without help and you don’t mind paying yourself nothing to do it.
Minimum Self Publishing Hard Costs
Most folks will also end up paying for help to edit, design, or market their book. Assuming you can do every step above yourself, here are the hard physical costs that you’ll run into getting your book published.
$49-$500 for test prints or a small print run of your book (25 copies).
$0-$250 for an ISBN (this is like your book’s serial number).
$49 (IngramSpark) to $399 (BookBaby) to list your book for print-on-demand distribution and sell through Amazon, B&N, local bookstores and so on.
Self Publishing Is Easier Than Ever But Still Sucks Ballz
100 yeas ago all book publishing was controlled through publishers because the average Jane didn’t have access to a printing press. It was the publisher’s job to make sure the book would have wide-enough appeal to pay back the massive printing costs.
Flash-forward to today, and anyone can have a book printed on-demand for $5-$25. We eliminated the risk of printing and flooded the market with new books…all at a time when adults were reading less books than ever.
A LOT of People Don’t Read Books
I thought bringing my knowledge to the printed page would have the widest reach. It turned out that even during intense quarantine, half of UK adults didn’t read a single book last year.
Average readers in the USA, spend about 15 minutes a day reading. The average American is on their smart phone for 4 hours a day and watching TV for 3 hours a day! You can see your chances of getting through are MUCH higher on a screen than on a page.
If your message can be communicated visually, video is your best bet. YouTube has become the home for anything you can explain in 3 to 30 minutes. The majority of the world uses Google to find answers and Google gives priority to relevant YouTube results–so you will be found if you’re talking about anything people are asking about.
If your message can be communicated in under 60 seconds, then you are ready for Instagram Reels & TikTok. You will do especially well in this format if you live in a beautiful place or can move to a beat.
So where does your message go if it’s not visual or it’s too complex to be broken into video episodes? DON’T START A PODCAST. You thought I was going to tell you to start a podcast didn’t you?
Read my followup on why starting a new podcast is a bad idea.
Why quitting is harder than starting…
As a creative entrepreneur, I could start a new business every week. Planning a new business is my favorite part because nothing has gone wrong yet. It’s all possibility when it’s just me and a pro forma. And if your business is mostly online, you can start that business for the cost of a SquareSpace subscription.
This has created a world where most hustlers have 5 different hustles at once. I will out myself as one of those people who loves to be running multiple projects at once. What I’m learning is that it’s great to be interested in 5 different paths but it’s complicated to make money from all 5.
Living in late-stage capitalism taught me that I needed to monetize everything I enjoyed. I was wrong. Enjoy what you enjoy. Monetize what you have an unfair advantage doing at the perfect time.
Letting Go of the Wrong Projects Makes Space for the Right Fits
There’s a cliché that God will never hand you more than you can handle, and it applies to entrepreneurship too. If you are already at full capacity between your business, your side business, your family, and your life–there’s no space for anything to be created. You need to let go of something before you’ll attract a better fit.
Here’s some random guidelines I use for myself to keep things spacious…
Warming up my body and meditating for the day BEFORE I give my energy to a screen or another human. This sets up my day in my own energy instead of being enmeshed in whatever has come up overnight. I’ll often end my day this way too.
Centering the lifestyle I want before any business idea. If the business doesn’t support my chosen lifestyle, I skip it.
Writing something for myself before I do other work. I use my sleeping time to do subconscious processing of questions and often have answers by the time I wake up.
Declining most of the requests for my time/energy/attention for free. I still accept most of the requests from BIPOC humans who are starting new projects.
Keeping my social media ‘scrolling’ time to under 2 hours a week. Unfollowing people who love drama.
Noticing when I’m in “expansion-mode” and should be out meeting new people and noticing when I’m in “focus-mode” and should be working on my work. Business requires a combination of extraversion and introversion and it’s easy to spend too much time on the side you prefer.
Giving far fewer fucks what others think or say about me.
How do you keep your life spacious? Let me know in the comments.
Starting a new podcast is a bad idea…
During my first year of being a self-published author, I did a lot of podcast interviews. I had a great time practicing my interview skills but didn’t sell a single book this way. Unless you are a professional audio story teller/musician, your podcast is going to get lost in the 2 MILLION podcasts available today.
Video wins over books & audio…
I thought bringing my knowledge to the printed page would have the widest reach. It turned out that even during intense quarantine, half of UK adults didn’t read a single book last year.
Average readers in the USA, spend about 15 minutes a day reading. The average American is on their smart phone for 4 hours a day and watching TV for 3 hours a day! You can see your chances of getting through are MUCH higher on a screen than on a page.
If your message can be communicated visually, video is your best bet. YouTube has become the home for anything you can explain in 3 to 30 minutes. The majority of the world uses Google to find answers and Google gives priority to relevant YouTube results–so you will be found if you’re talking about anything people are asking about.
If your message can be communicated in under 60 seconds, then you are ready for Instagram Reels & TikTok. You will do especially well in this format if you live in a beautiful place or can move to a beat.
So where does your message go if it’s not visual or it’s too complex to be broken into video episodes? DON’T START A PODCAST. You thought I was going to tell you to start a podcast didn’t you?
Why A Podcast Is NOT the Solution
I started listening to podcasts when Apple released support for them in 2005. The early days of podcasting were fabulous. Only people who really understood audio story telling bothered to produce them and most were aimed at tech nerds like me.
Fast-forward to today and there are 2 million podcasts and 29 million podcast episodes to choose from.
To stand out in that mess, you need to already have an audience on the hook that will take the time to listen to your podcast and share it with friends. Trying to get famous by podcast first is no longer possible.
So What’s The Most Efficient Way To Be Heard
My prediction is the next “get famous online” track will be live video. Clubhouse exploded onto the social media scene during the height of lock-down with one simple feature…the ability to connect to other people live. The reason they were able to reach a $4 Billion evaluation in their first year was because they were creating live connections between strangers. Clubhouse has since had its ups and downs but you’ll get MUCH MORE feedback broadcasting on Clubhouse than a Podcast.
Live streaming shortens the time between producing content and getting audience feedback from weeks to seconds. You know instantly who is into what you’re doing. Live feedback is incredibly helpful for new content creators. Watch the video below to see how one woman developed a multi-million dollar business around doing what her audience wants to see.
Even if Amouranth’s style is completely different from what you have to offer…you can still learn from her. Broadcasting your message is NOT a one-way street. The person receiving your message is your partner in this exchange. Spend as much time thinking about the person you want to reach as you spend writing your content. These people will become your people. Who do you want to surround yourself with? And what do those people want? How can you help them?
I hope you disagree with me. Tell me what I missed in the comments.
21 Questions to Ask Before You Become Co-Founders or Collaborate
As I get ready for a new year with new possibilities, I’m being presented with a lot of new projects to play in. In the past, I’ve done the projects that picked me until someone dropped from exhaustion. Today, I’ve learned to ask a few key questions to see if a project is in alignment before I start.
21 Questions I Learned to Ask the Hard Way, so you can have it easier…
WHAT ARE THE 3-MONTH AND 1-YEAR GOALS FOR THIS PROJECT?
The more collaborators on a project means the more people with their own idea of what they want to do. Weak project leaders will add everyone’s goals to the pile, promise everyone what they want, and get none of it done. Ask for goals with timelines for the projects that you’re walking into. If the goals of the project haven’t been defined, ask how goals will be prioritized. If your project has more than 3 major goals, it’s unlikely to happen.
ASK TO SEE THE BUDGET.
It’s all well and good for project leaders to say that everyone’s ideas will be incorporated but the budget will tell you what’s actually possible with the resources available.
Are the project leaders saying that Black Lives Matter? Then look for the AntiRacism training budget. Are the project leaders saying that they want an equal number of male and female leaders? Then look at the staff budget and see if they can pay living wages to their female leaders.
Some leaders will say anything to get you on board but knowing where the money goes will tell you what the real priorities are.
FIND OUT WHO OWNS WHAT. FOR REAL.
No matter what collaborative structure the project leaders have chosen, at the end of the day someone(s) will own and direct what the organization does. Ask what legal entity they have chosen to operate as and…
ASK TO SEE THE INCORPORATION PAPERWORK
The incorporation paperwork will tell you legally who owns the project and what happens if something goes wacky. What you’ll want to know before you agree to collaborate is…
Who owns the project and its assets?
Who owns anything I create while working on this project?
Who is currently on the board and how do those people get switched out?
Who are the current managers of this project? If I’m being sexual harassed by a manager, who can I report it to? (This is a common snag in small companies when the only person to report harassment to is the person harassing you.)
Where does the liability fall if someone dies while on this project? (This is an extreme example of liability but will help you figure out if they have the proper insurance to cover the company.)
How can this company be unincorporated (dissolved) and what happens to the company assets afterwards?
HOW IS THIS PROJECT FUNDED?
The difference between a hobby and a company is funding.
How your project gets funded will determine A LOT. Whoever funds the project is your real customer. Meaning that no matter who are you trying to help, the majority of your energy will be spent on who gives you the money. (This is why most philanthropy fails to help the people who need it most.)
If the project has no funding, get clear on how they plan to raise money and if you’ll be involved. Get clear on what happens if the money runs out. Do they own any work you’ve contributed if the project dies?
If the project has a membership base, ask tough questions like–how many members do you have? How long do they remain members? How much are they paying?
If the project is being funded personally by someone, know that the project will be subject to the whims of the person who funded it. No matter which collaborative structure you’ve chosen, I’ve never seen a management team tell the project funder no.
If the project is being funded by an investment group or Venture Capitalist, know that it's unlikely your work will see the light of day. Your work is now only as good as it enriches your investors. What enriches your investors (like getting bought out by SalesForce) is often the opposite of what helps your customers.
ASK THE HARD QUESTIONS BEFORE YOU COMMIT
If the leaders that you’re interviewing have challenges answering these questions honestly and authentically, it’s a red flag 🚩How they answer these questions is a lot more important than what they say in my experience. If just being asked about any of these topics triggers the leader that you’re interviewing, just imagine what will happen when these scenarios actually come up.
Can you tell me about the last time someone disagreed with your leadership style and how you handled it?
Can you tell me about your last experience with sexual harassment in the community and how it was handled?
What is your personal practice? How do you keep yourself aligned to lead?
How do you know what’s yours to lead and what’s not yours?
What was the most surprising thing you've learned in the AntiRacism training you’ve done? What AntiRacism training is planned for this project?
Tell me about the last time two team members had a serious conflict and how you handled it.
What would the last person who quit this project tell me about their experience?
Can I speak to three people from previous companies you’ve managed?
Who is sleeping with who on the team? How are sexual relationships handled within the company?
Again! Ask the tough questions now because conflict will come up later and you want to get a preview of how they will handle it.
BECOMING A CO-FOUNDER IS MORE COMPLICATED THAN GETTING MARRIED.
Choosing to co-own a company with someone(s) can be harder to get out of than a marriage. When you incorporate a company and declare yourself co-owners with others, you are stuck with those partners until you can sell (or give up) your ownership.
That doesn’t sound too hard at the beginning of a project when you assume everything will go well and your part of the company will be super valuable. But what happens when the company is out of money and you can’t find anyone to buy you out? You will have to carry ownership of this company until you give up your ownership or the entire company is dissolved. Until then, you will be financially and legally responsible for everything about that company, even if you’ve stopped being involved in the management. In my experience, getting out of a company can be more expensive and take more time than a divorce.
I now treat potential cofounders like potential spouses. I take my time getting to know them. I try small projects before committing to a big one. I invite them to do psychedelics with me and see how they do with intensity. As I told the UCLA Business School, you’re more likely to meet your best cofounder at AfrikaBurn doing LSD than business school.
How to attend a Black-centric party as a white person
I learned these lessons by f*cking up. I’ve made a variation of every one of these mistakes as a white woman going into Black-centric spaces. Please share what you’ve learned in the comments.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
The Afro-centric party I attended last week featured a spoken word performance written from the perspective of a Black slave woman to her white female slave owner. It was beautiful, powerful, and devastating.
Remember that while addressing white supremacy openly makes you “uncomfortable”, your Black friends have been putting up with conscious and subconscious aggression towards them at almost every white-led event of their lives. Part of all our healing is to be present for others as they share their story. Keep your heart open and get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Don’t interrupt a Black man to tell him how you would fix racism.
Ok so you’ve woken up to the harms of racism, the first mistake most people make (including me) is going into White Savior Mode.
My White Savior Mode has a couple of characteristics:
White Saviors assume that they can fix the damage of white culture by imposing their “solutions” on others. This perpetuates colonialism instead of dismantling it.
White Saviors assume they must have finished all their AntiRacism/Classism/Bias work because they want to “save” people now. Deprogramming from white supremacy extractive capitalism is a lifelong process.
White Saviors dissociate from how they feel by over-intellectualizing the issues. This allows you to numb out in the face of epic injustice that extractive capitalism depends on. If you find yourself wanting to solve something instead of being present with pain, notice that in yourself and breathe deeper to stay present instead.
White Saviors assume that they deserve recognition for doing antiracism work. We are all responsible for dismantling white supremacy in our families, friends, workplaces, and neighborhoods. Make your white-led programs accessible to Black people AND also donate to Black-led programs.
White Saviors assume that they can “solve racism” as a separate issue from sexism, classism, ableism, transphobia and so on. If white supremacy is your first look at injustice, get ready for a longer investigation.
Don’t talk about being vegan while they serve chicken.
The food you had access to while growing up was defined by your race, class, and privilege. Remember that depending on how someone grew up, they may not have had the same dietary options as you. Don’t use the party to judge other diets. Accept everyone is eating whatever they need to eat. Bring your favorite vegan dish to share and don’t mention that it’s vegan.
Don’t complain about the party getting started late/guests arriving late.
If you show up “on time” for a Black-centric party, you may only see other white guests for a while. Can’t figure out why? Meditate on how American farming went from a family-based effort timed to the sun to slave-based with overseers to make sure that you’re “on time”. Remember how you got written-up in school for being late? Well your Black friends were more likely to be suspended or placed in detention for being late. Be open to the possibility that your Black friends may operate on a whole different clock for a slew of past and present reasons. Sit with your judgement on the importance of being “on time” instead of burdening other guests with your thoughts.
Don’t talk about the AntiRacism work you’ve done or BIPOC teachers you’ve studied.
There’s a phenomenon called “optical allyship”, which is a different shade of white supremacy.
From Bustle Magazine…
“Optical Allyship” is a term coined by Latham Thomas, founder of Mama Glow and author of Own Your Glow. In an Instagram post from May 1, Thomas defines optical allyship as “allyship that only serves at the surface level to platform the 'ally,' it makes a statement but doesn’t go beneath the surface and is not aimed at breaking away from the systems of power that oppress.”
Essentially, it is performative allyship. Instead of standing up, building trust, and doing the work to disassemble white supremacy, optical allyship does the bare minimum. It’s retweeting a contextless MLK quote without learning about the depth of King’s work and his actual words on protesting. It’s using a “woke” cultural moment to build your brand while continuing practices rooted in racism. It’s relying on Black people to do the work for you.
Your Black friends have heard every variation of justification from white folks to “prove” they aren’t racist. If you find yourself saying any of these things, ask yourself why. Is bringing up your AntiRacism work truly what the conversation calls for or are you trying to prove you’re one of the “good ones.”
"I went to Standing Rock.”
“I had a Black lover / best friend growing up.”
“I went to Peru and studied with indigenous Shamans.”
“I lived in a Black neighborhood.”
“I love Black people.”
“I featured 3 BIPOC speakers at my last event.” (But did you pay them well?)
“I took African studies in college.”
“I marched for Black Lives Matter.”
This list is hardly complete. Please add to it from your experiences in the comments. And let’s celebrate being able to party together.
Answering Your Strangest Questions about Nine Perfect Strangers
I'm a little late to the Nine Perfect Strangers party, but I finally finished the series and can answer all the questions I've been getting about psychedelic healing on the show. Let me know if I missed your question because I've answered some weird ones below.
Do retreat centers like in Nine Perfect Strangers exist?
Yes and no. Psychedelics are illegal in the US and so it is very difficult to run a retreat center focused on psychedelic healing domestically.
Although some cities, Washington DC, & Oregon have decriminalized some psychedelics, practitioners can still be busted by the federal government and have no clear way to file taxes.
The American War on Drugs means that you’re more likely to find the retreat center from Nine Perfect Strangers in Costa Rica, Portugal, the Netherlands, or Mexico. If you choose to leave the country for healing, look for programs that are owned by natives of that country and employ local healers.
If you’re considering a program led by Americans in a foreign country ask some questions first...
Who own’s the retreat center?
How much are the local practitioners compensated?
Where do profits from the program go?
How many years have you been hosting in this community?
How many guests do you usually host and how many are coming to this session?
For the time being, American practitioners operate in the shadows. Typically they will rent a VRBO or retreat center to hold one-off retreats. American psychedelic leaders cannot be “caught” owning a retreat center because of Civil Asset Forfeiture.
What is Civil Asset Forfeiture?
(Answered by https://drugpolicy.org/issues/asset-forfeiture-reform)
Civil asset forfeiture allows the government to seize cash, cars, real estate, or other property suspected of being connected to criminal activity, even if the owner is never arrested for a crime. In a staggering 80% of civil asset forfeitures, criminal charges are never filed against property owners.
Civil asset forfeiture was rarely used prior to the war on drugs. However, the Comprehensive Drug Abuse Prevention and Control Act of 1970 authorized the government to seize drugs and drug equipment. As the war on drugs intensified, Congress expanded the range of property subject to forfeiture. Cash, bank accounts, jewelry, cars, boats, airplanes, businesses, houses and land all became fair game.
Can someone die at a Psychedelic Retreat? What about the goat? 🐐
I’ve never had anyone die during a retreat but we have birthed a baby ;). Although psychedelics are safer than alcohol and most prescription drugs, there is some risk. Be completely honest with your practitioner about your health and EVERYTHING you’re taking. Some factors that can particularly affect your safety on psychedelics are if you are taking SSRIs or opiates, have a heart or lung condition, or history with bipolar.
Before you sign up, ask if the staff has medical training and how long it takes to get to a hospital. Do not stop taking your prescribed medication while on retreat unless advised by your doctor AND your psychedelic practitioner. Most medications require titrating down and you don’t want to stop suddenly.
I have never had anyone kill a goat (or any animal) during a retreat. We have broken 3 chairs during a rage session though. Typically folks become more sensitive to living things while on psychedelics. I’ve had guests cry over insects drowning accidentally in the pool.
Will someone dose me on psychedelics without telling me?
Unlikely. This is the only premise of Nine Perfect Strangers that I can’t find anyone practicing in real life. Although there have been rumors of putting LSD in the water supply since LSD was discovered, it’s never happened. Everyone I know chooses to work intentionally with psychedelics. Dosing people without their consent is unethical.
Are the staff at retreat centers fucking each other?
Often yes. I’ve found the bisexuality and polyamory in Nine Perfect Strangers is very common in the psychedelic world. For folks that are constantly looking into the future with psychedelics…it doesn’t look like a one man married to one woman for the rest of their life kinda world. I wouldn’t expect your psychedelic staff to practice Christian heterosexual monogamy.
I think it’s perfectly ethical for staff members to fuck each other (with consent and power balance). What you want to avoid is events where the practitioners fuck the guests (unless the retreat is built specifically for that). There are a small number of shitty practitioners that insist that fucking them is part of the healing process. Sex can be an incredibly healing and beautiful gift. However, feeling pressure to fuck someone while you are altered on psychedelics is not OK. If you are interested in fucking anyone while “high”, wait until you’re sober to explore that.
Will I fall in love with someone on retreat?
Yes. My experience during retreats is I often fall in love with myself first. Investing in myself during a retreat reminds me of how much I love myself. Next I tend to fall into deeper love with my partners if they happen to be retreating with me. Lastly, I fall into love with every single person on the retreat. So know that feeling the love is 100% expected.
Finding your soul mate while you’re patching up your own soul is complicated. A lot of the singles that meet during a retreat don’t date for too long afterwards. So if you feel deep swelling love during a retreat, enjoy it! Don’t skip working on yourself to try and get busy with someone else. Focus on your own journey and if that person really is your dream boat, they’ll be waiting at the dock after your retreat.
Can doing psychedelics heal ___________ ?
Studying psychedelics has been largely illegal for the last 50 years so we have few scientific studies but tons of personal healing stories. John Hopkins has released studies showing that magic mushrooms (psilocybin) can be healing for anxiety, depression, addiction, and PTSD. MDMA is in Phase 3 clinical trials to be re-introduced as a therapeutic drug. MDMA was used for marriage counseling until 1985, when the US government listed it as a Schedule 1 drug with no therapeutic benefit.
Here’s the most basic way I understand how psychedelic healing takes place:
Disease is a result of dis-ease in my life. Something out of alignment, something stuck that needs to be cleared away, something caused by over consuming, or something caused by lack of care/love/attention.
Psychedelics allow me to release my story and get curious with the energy underneath the story. If I haven’t been listening to my body or my soul, they tend to get louder on psychedelics. This helps me locate what’s stuck energetically/what thoughts I’m looping.
As I witness what’s actually present, I can release it. I can change my mind. I can forgive myself and others. I can remember what’s it’s like to be in total joy. I can focus healing attention on any part of myself. I can set intentions for taking excellent care of myself.
Often an accident or an illness is an opportunity to realize where I haven’t been taking care of myself and make changes. For example, I was overweight/obese for all of my 20s. I used psychedelics to rewire how I was relating to food and lost 50 pounds.
In this way, psychedelics don’t directly heal anything, but they support you in making healing choices and creating healing thoughts (which can heal anything). After I burned out as an overweight workaholic CEO, I chose a weekly day off with LSD to heal. There was nothing specifically healing about LSD except that it supported me in healing my own mind and body.
What if I’m interested in psychedelic healing but afraid of doing psychedelics?
Healing retreats offer a range of healing activities, which are potent on their own. Here are some healing techniques used on Nine Perfect Strangers that you don’t have to go anywhere exotic to try for yourself.
Take time away from your phone & screens. This can look like scheduling a day off of screens once a week or hiking where there’s no phone signal on your lunch break. Even not keeping your phone next to your bed will decrease your screen time (get an old fashion alarm clock).
Move and Stretch. Your body needs movement and stretching to work well for the rest of your life.
Meditate. A meditation practice will support you in intense experiences throughout your life (whether or not they include psychedelics). A 10-day silent meditation retreat is very psychedelic for me even while sober.
Make yourself the best breakfast for you. Everyone’s body & tastebuds are different. Figure out a first meal of the day that fuels you. American breakfast options are probably the worst for you in the world.
Go to a healing session. This could be massage, acupuncture, reiki, or another type of therapy. If you’re short on cash, look for a community acupuncture center near you for $25-$50 sessions. Another hack is to find a friend who has finished training recently and will trade you sessions.
Can I fix my entire life in a 10 day retreat?
Obviously no. However I have seen many people use a 10 day retreat as a turning point in their lives. Typically “the work” begins the moment you finalize your plans to attend a retreat. Your subconscious begins preparing for the experience and I’ve had things shift in my life before even starting the retreat.
During a retreat, I’ve experienced people change the most deeply held beliefs about themselves in an instant. Change doesn’t take any time at all. Realizing that you want to change and getting ready to make that change is what takes time. Being consistent about the change you made when you go back to your previous life is the hardest.
Any psychedelic practitioner worth their salt will tell you that healing yourself requires more work outside of the retreat than in it. This isn’t a "take a pill and forget your problems” solution. This is a "take a pill and remember all your problems so you can work through them over the rest of your life" solution.
Where can I find a retreat center like Tranquillum in Nine Perfect Strangers?
Asking friends for a recommendation is a good first step. After that start searching the internet and social media. Retreat centers in countries with less drug enforcement are usually more public about which plant medicines they will be using. Retreats in the United States might not talk about any specific psychedelics in writing.
Can I contact the dead using psychedelics?
I believe that psychedelics can help people “talk” to the soul of someone they lost. You’ll notice in the series that the “ghost” tells them that he can only tell them things they already know. To me this means they are interacting with their memory of the dead person and not with the actual soul.
If I’m Queer or Transgender, what should I know before looking for a psychedelic healing retreat?
From my personal experiences, and stories I’ve received from transgendered friends, the psychedelic retreat scene is usually queer friendly but still learning how to support transgender people. As a pansexual straight-presenting woman I’ve experienced sexism from male practitioners.
My transgender friends have had mixed results working with straight practitioners. Ask if there is anyone else on the retreat team who has lived through similar experiences as your own when trying to decide if this retreat will work for you.
If I’m BIPOC, what should I know before booking a psychedelic healing retreat?
The psychedelic retreat world is largely white, even in countries like Costa Rica and Mexico. My BIPOC friends recommend choosing a BIPOC-led retreat whenever possible. Simply put, a white practitioner isn’t going to know how to sit with racial traumatic stress. At the worst end of the scale, I’ve met white practitioners who believe racism isn’t really a problem.
I’m sure there are some awesomely aware white practitioners out there but I honestly can’t name one I would have lead a BIPOC group. If you’re going to work on releasing trauma as a BIPOC person, I’m pretty sure race is going to come up, and that’s really hard in a mostly white room to explore.
Questions & Answers I missed in the comments please!
If you want to hear more from me about psychedelics, check out this podcast episode I did with The Banana Jane.
Pic of me by 10baretoes Studios.
When you breathe in does your stomach go out?
Regular Breathing Pattern
I was teaching a private yoga class this morning when my client discovered that she was breathing backwards, a.k.a paradoxically breathing. Instead of her belly expanding as she breathed in, she was contracting her stomach and breathing into her upper chest. As she learned how to breathe normally, it released tension from her body and lowered her anxiety.
If you find yourself breathing into your upper chest a lot or not releasing your stomach out as you breath in...learning how to breathe will change your life forever. I'm serious.
Deep belly breathing is a required skill. As we breathe deeply into our low belly, our lungs massage the vagus nerve, which cues our parasympathetic nervous system to activate. The parasympathetic nervous system does all the rest and digest functions that rejuvenate your body.
The lungs are the only organs we can consciously control. Please learn how to use them.
My ‘why’ on The Quantum Alignment Podcast with Dr. Pepper Hernandez
I’ve done a lot of podcast interviews and this is one of the great ones. Dr. Pepper Hernandez does an amazing job of having me tell my story from burn out to quantum alignment. This conversation covers my cannabis history, my psychedelic present, and sex tips for your psychedelic future.
Get a Daily Dose of Anti-Racist Education
I’m obsessed with Nicole Cardoza’s email newsletter, The Anti-Racism Daily. She is curating a current conversation that every human can benefit from tapping into. Please subscribe to the free Anti-Racism Daily newsletter and follow her on twitter and instagram.
Database of Psychedelic Communities & Resources
I just learned about this table of 310 (and growing) communities for psychedelics across the world. Thank you Mike Margolies and friends for putting this together. Thanks to from Liana & Jade at MAPS for mentioning it.
Head over to psychedelic.community to check out the full database. You can start a free Airtable account and make a copy of this data for your own research (via the Use this data button in the top right).
Be smart and have fun out there!
Stretching for Sitting in Meditation
This 29-minute stretching routine includes techniques from Tai chi and Kundalini yoga. It’s a great warm-up to do when you get up in the morning or when you are preparing to sit for mediation.
I learned this set while running 10-day silent meditation courses in Maui at the Quepasana Foundation.
6 Stupid Easy Changes to Make Your SquareSpace Website More Pro
1. Use Center Text Alignment Less
It is super tempting to use center alignment a LOT. It looks kinda good on mobile screens but it’s more tiring for folks to read. Western eyes are used to left-aligned text and it takes more energy to read text with different alignments. Your site will look more professional with less center text alignment.
Example of a page using only center aligned text.
Revision with left-aligned text.
Unlike designing something that fits on a printed page, you have an almost infinite amount of vertical space to use on your website. Use additional vertical space to break up text in a way that makes it easy for visitors to scroll for the information they desire.
2. Less Background Colors Are More
I recommend using a limited palette of colors for your backgrounds. Most of my sites use primarily white, black, and grey backgrounds. I use photos and graphics to add color to my pages. Choosing a color palette and sticking to it gives your site professional cohesive look.
If you’re having a hard time selecting colors that go well together, you can cheat off a more experienced artist. Find a beautiful painting and pull your color selections from it.
Colors I choose for this site. You can edit your site colors in the Design > Site Styles > Colors sections of Squarespace.
If you’d like help from a web color expert (yep, they exist and I’ve got one for you!) register for my personal branding + website design immersion here. The immersion includes meeting one-on-one with Diane Wellman, who will help you select your colors and design a personal icon for you.
3. Add More Spacers (Blank Space) Around Important Things
Visitors to your site are scrolling quickly while half-listening to their kids scream and a podcast at the same time. Focus your visitors on what’s important by giving it lots of space.
4. Use Less Text
Again your visitors are busy and distracted! Use short sentences and easy-to-understand words.
5. Add a Video or Video Background
Using a video to introduce yourself to visitors is especially popular with folks who prefer to listen and folks who don’t like to read in English. It’s well worth investing in one short video about yourself that you can use all year. I had a Summit I produced in 2017 filmed professionally and still use that video to this day.
6. Backup Your Mailing List Subscribers on Google Drive
When you add a newsletter subscription box to a SquareSpace site, you can choose to have the subscriber email addresses sent to multiple places at once. On top of syncing new contacts to my email lists with SquareSpace, I always setup Google Drive as well. This way if there are any issues with my email newsletter provider, I always have a backup copy of my list.
Newsletter Settings for the footer of this site in SquareSpace. I’m using SquareSpace Email Campaigns & Google Drive to collect email addresses at the same time.
9 Tips for Going Home to Visit without Going Crazy
“If you think you are enlightened, go and spend a week with your family.” ~ Ram Das
I was advising a client who had melted down visiting her family and, of course, I did the same thing to my family the next day. It was a great reminder that healing intergenerational wounds is a lifelong journey and my life is far from over
Here are the tips I wrote myself for future extended family vacations.
Treat “going home” as a full-time transformational opportunity. Do not schedule work or distractions during the visit. Clear your schedule to devote 100% of your attention to whatever comes up. Just being with your family, feeling your feelings, and staying present is a full-time job.
Set yourself up for success by taking extra good care of yourself before and after the visit. Schedule extra bodywork, yoga, and meditation for before and after. Maybe splurge on a better flight or hotel room than you would normally.
Pre-plan a daily “get-away” hour from your family. Take yourself out for a yoga class, a morning beverage, a walk, a haircut, etc. I like to get up about 2 hours before anyone else and have that part of the day to myself.
Put your phone away. The easiest distraction from our feelings and from being present is scrolling our phones. If you are addicted to your phone, leave it somewhere else during meals.
Don't make anybody wrong, but don’t make yourself wrong either. This is my favorite tip from one of my advisors, Paul Cooper, the Freedom Coach. As a Libra Sun, I’m very concerned with justice and fairness. I used to spend a ton of energy telling people they were wrong. Most folks will ignore you once you make them wrong. It’s very hard to take good advice from someone who makes you feel bad.
Release yourself from needing to change your family’s opinions or behaviors. They are sovereign adults who have lived a different life and get to come to their own conclusions. Going into a visit with the agenda to change your family will usually lead to upset. However if it comes up, you can take a stand for your values and opinions. You don’t have to yield to anyone who tries to make you “wrong” and you don’t have anything to prove to be “right” either. Allow for everyone to have a unique perspective and steer the discussion to where you agree.
Take time to give back to someone who gave to you. Your family spent uncountable hours and resources to raise you. I forget sometimes. Pre-plan a way to make someone in your family feel extra appreciated for all they do.
Monitor yourself for getting overwhelmed and know what you need to do for yourself to avoid going crazy. Here’s some of the calming techniques that I use:
Deep breaths through my nose and into the lower belly.
Drinking a glass of water or herbal tea.
Eating a healthy snack like berries.
Going to the bathroom to get some time alone.
Taking a shower, bath, or cold plunge.
Taking a walk or going to an exercise class.
Volunteering to run an errand or go to the store.
Use Cannabis or CBD in any form. If you don’t want to smoke around your family, get a low-dose edible that you can use discreetly. Leave your favorite product in the comments.
I tell UCLA Anderson MBAs My Story (video)
Watch one of the first business school panels on cannabis business opportunities. Speakers include Jazmin Victoria Hupp, Kenny Morrison, Christian Groh, and Jim Baudino.
The 32nd annual CREATE Conference at UCLA Anderson was one of the first business school events in the world to feature a cannabis panel. I had the pleasure of speaking on the mainstage with five different sides of the cannabis puzzle.
Dr. Jeff Chen, director of the National Institute of Cannabis Endocannabinoid Research and Founder of the Cannabis Research Group at UCLA.
Christian Groh (pronounced "grow" no kidding) COO of Privateer Holdings an investment fund with companies such as Leafly-which receives 11 million visitors a month, Tilray-a medical cannabis cultivator in Canada, and Marley Natural-the licensed Bob Marley cannabis brand. Christian comes from a traditional VC investment background at Silicon Valley Bank and brings the important private equity perspective to this conversation.
Kenny Morrison, founder of VCC Brands, is a UCLA drop-out now invited back to the business school as a CEO. Kenny shared how his cannabis sales experience started in college and then matured into one of the largest edible brands in California & Washington recently. Kenny shared his perspective from the product, branding, and lobbying he leads.
Jim Baudino, VP of Marketing at Merry Jane, is a UCLA Anderson graduate and 10 year veteran of Toyota. Jim talked about representing cannabis culture and SnoopDogg's cannabis company portfolio.
Are you testing your drugs for fentanyl?
"Fentanyl and various fentanyl analogs are highly potent synthetic opioids between fifty and hundreds of times stronger than heroin. Since 2013 they have killed hundreds of thousands of people in North America alone. Accidentally ingesting fentanyl-laced heroin, cocaine, ketamine, meth and other drugs—including counterfeit pharmaceutical pills—is the single greatest risk facing people who use drugs today." ~DanceSafe
Fentanyl was developed as a super-opiate pain killer for folks who have already exhausted regular opioids. This feels a lot like crack being introduced. There is no good reason for fentanyl to show up throughout the opioid supply chain (and now ketamine and MDMA) accidentally. Mixing in a powder that is lethal in doses you can barely see is poisoning the well.
I’m recommending you test all your powder and pill-based drugs (as usual) and now with fentanyl test strips as well. Visit DanceSafe to get drug testing kits and fentanyl testing information.
Get educated on how a fentanyl or opiate overdose can happen and what you can do to reverse it from the National Harm Reduction Coalition. If you are using opioids please make an overdose plan and get Naloxone (which can reverse an opiate overdose). You can find free sources for Naloxone here. Be very gentle on these non-profits doing harm reduction work for your community. Donate if you can. Help out if you can. Be super duper nice.
“Opioid overdose occurs when the level of opioids, or combination of opioids and other drugs, in the body render a person unresponsive to stimulation or cause their breathing to become inadequate. This happens because opioids fit into the same receptors in the brain that signal the body to breathe. If someone cannot breathe or is not breathing enough, oxygen levels in the blood decrease causing the lips and fingers turn blue, a process called cyanosis. Oxygen starvation will eventually stop vital organs like the heart, then the brain, and can lead to unconsciousness, coma, and possibly death. Within 3-5 minutes without oxygen, brain damage starts to occur, soon followed by death.” ~National Harm Reduction Council
Take special care if you choose to combine heroin/prescription opioids and other downers such as alcohol and benzodiazepines (Xanax). These all depress the central nervous system. Opiates bind to the receptors in your brain that make you think you are breathing. Get someone who is trained to administer Naloxone to watch you if you are using this combination. Ideally don’t use these in combination at all or use smaller amounts if possible.
What’s your perfect magic mushroom psilocybin dose?
This Amsterdam-based company has made a complete dosing calculator to tell you.
You’ll have to convert your weight in Kilograms with a search or by using this tool .
I had several friends compare their magic mushroom dosing experiences to these calculations and Zamnesia seemed to be accurate.
Have fun calculating your perfect magic mushroom (psilocybin) dose.
Black-led Projects for Psychedelic Healing
I got to attend Chacruna’s Parables & Pathways, A Conversation Between Black Women in Psychedelics yesterday and wanted to share some links if you missed it.
Conversations like these teach me that we need all types of practitioners to support all types of people healing. Widespread medical racism makes it unlikely that Black people will trust white doctors with their mental & spiritual health. Black attendees were encouraged to wait for a Black-led opportunity to sit with psychedelics instead of risking it.
Why is this important? Most organizations will try to look diverse, regardless of who is actually running the show. (Just ask your Black friends with corporate jobs how often they’re asked to be photographed vs. how often the board of directors asks their opinion.) I learned while leading Women Grow that having Black women work entry-level positions for white owners was reinforcing the White Supremacy that we were trying to disrupt. Women Grow is now majority-owned by Black women.
Black-Led Psychedelic Projects
Robin Divine’s Black People Trip - Robin creates content and community for Black women using psychedelics. Support her by joining her Patreon or Venmo @DivineRobin.
Hanifa Nayo Washington’s One Village Healing - Hanifa is someone you want to follow because everything she’s doing is amazing. She recently co-founded the first Psychedelic Peer Support line, called The Fireside Project.
Courtney Watson’s Doorway Therapeutics - Specializing in healing for Queer BIPOC+ people in Oakland. Give to her therapy fund to provide services to Black activists with Black therapists.
Oakland Hyphae - Oakland Hyphae is a socially responsible, Black-owned grassroots business, who's goal is to educate and provide dependable, high quality resources and information for plant medicine cultivators and enthusiasts. I’ll be appearing at their event this weekend in Denver.
As a white woman–I’ve caused harm projecting that I can help everyone–when the truth is I can only help myself and inspire people to do the same. I often fall into a savior complex that believes I know how to help people better than they know how to help themselves. If you’re like me, consider giving resources to projects with no attachments and getting out of their way.
Muscle Testing & Pendulum Testing Your Drugs
I want to stress that this is the LEAST scientific method to test a substance but has worked for me. Please use drug test kits, ask questions when you buy drugs, and be smart about what you put in your body. We lost Prince and many others to powder drugs laced with fentanyl (the most potent opioid).
Muscle Testing
Pendulum Testing
6 Practices to Support You Launching On Time Every Time
Getting a large group of women to pose for a group photo is a great test of your timing skills. This photo is from our first Women Grow Leadership Summit with about 125 women. It was great training for when we grew the event 10X the next year.
Let’s be clear. It’s easy to predict that a project is going to miss its deadline because the vast majority of projects do. But if you blow deadlines like a corporate cocaine addict in the 80s...here’s some tips on getting your sh*t done on time.
Obsessively track your time (more than your money). I spent years tracking every minute I spent working. I have an inordinately good sense of how long tasks take me because I measured it. I’ve learned that money is an infinite resource (you can make more) but time is finite. Guard your time more than your money.
Know how you sabotage your own success. This is a big blind spot I’m still working on seeing. I knew how I misbehaved when things were hard but I didn’t realize that I had bad habits when things were going well. I used to occasionally wake up in the morning with the sense that something was wrong and blame whatever showed up first (my partner sleeping next to me or my first work meeting of the day). I learned that waking up motivated to make a change isn’t a bad thing but I’ve got to be conscious of what I use that motivation to make happen. My old habit was to pick fights in the morning. So I’m re-channeling that fire into more productive containers. In fact, I woke up today and was going to pick a fight about a project I’m on right now. Instead I meditated for an hour and then wrote this post to remind myself (and hopefully help others) find ways to build instead of burn down.
Make an altar with objects and notes that represent your big desires. Before every strategic work session spend a few minutes meditating in front of your alter. Remind yourself of the big priorities by keeping your working altar close.
Experiment with different ways to present your ideas to collaborators & customers. One of the most sensitive parts of a project is when the folks who have a vision try to get collaborators (and later customers) on board. The Visionary often underestimates how much energy they need to put towards clearing the team’s limiting beliefs or the customer’s objections. Remember that everyone you talk to is coming to this project with their own goals and fears. Try addressing fears as early as possible so they don’t come back to spook you later. Find your balance between wanting to involve everyone and knowing that every person will require time and energy to onboard. This is especially tricky when you’re trying to create a community. You’ve got to have awesome methods to onboard your community and channel their fire or they will burn you up.
Take up a practice where timing really matters. My definition of timing is being aware of what is going on and being able to act at the most auspicious time for all. I learned my timing being raised by musicians and then stage managing musical theatre. Here’s some hobbies to practice your timing: play any instrument, plan a party with a storyline, take an improv comedy class, or moderate on Clubhouse.
Try Gantt charting or working backwards from your goal. A Gantt chart is a project management tool where you assign a number of days to each phase of a project and then it lays the tasks out sequentially on a calendar. It makes it really easy to see things like if the graphic designer is 2 weeks late, you have to cut 2 weeks from somewhere else in the schedule or push the launch back 2 weeks. Asana is my favorite tool for doing this with a big team. For small team projects you can do it manually by working backwards from your goal. For example if I wanted to launch a new Course I would write down:
0 Week: Course Start
1-6 Weeks: Course Sales
7-10 Weeks: Prepare Course Sales Materials
11-16 Weeks: Outline Course, Research Ideal Customers, and ask Guest Speakers
So in this example I can see that I need 16 weeks (or about 4 months) to prepare and launch a Course. Basecamp is my favorite project management tool to do this type of planning.
What are your tips for hitting your timing without knocking yourself out? 👇🏻 comments please!
Jazmin in Mary Janes: Women of Weed Documentary
In honor of women’s history month, they’ve added an excerpt from my interview in this 2016 documentary. I met a lot of teams who said they wanted to put out a movie about women in weed and Windy Bowman did it!
Find a virtual screening or get your local library to license a copy at MaryJanesFilm.com
50 Things Your Customers Won’t Tell You
Me and the Women Grow Team in 2015.
No matter what type of business you run, this list by Sonia Simone is required reading. This list came out in 2008 and I STILL USE IT TO THIS DAY.
Keep these in mind whether you’re trying to understand your customers. This affects how you write your blog, word your proposals, and do customer service.
A few of my favorites were:
My life is really stressful. If you can reduce that stress, you become immensely valuable to me.
Your employees treat me about as well as you treat them.
Telling me what you don’t know makes me trust you.
The wealthier I get, the more I like free stuff.
A lot of the time, I secretly feel like a lost little kid. I don’t admit it, but I want to be taken care of.
I don’t understand how to use your Web site, but I can’t admit that because it would make me feel dumb.
I want to buy your product, but I need you to help me justify it to myself.
I believe that most of what’s wrong in my life is someone else’s fault. Let me keep that cozy illusion and I’ll believe anything you say.